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ELAFF Organization, or How It All Works

Over the past few months at ELAFF HQ, we’ve grown incredibly. Our number of readers and fans has increased rapidly, and apparently some of the newcomers are not clear on the way things work here. This is understandable, as we operate a bit differently than other fire service blogs. This post is my attempt to clear things up and make the ELAFF experience less confusing.

The ELAFF Story (abridged version)

The first thing every ELAFF reader should do is check out the “About ELAFF” page. That should go without saying, but I said it anyway…just to be sure. That page gives the VERY basic version of the ELAFF story. Simply put, I started a Facebook page named “Excessive Leather Accessories for Firefighters” on February 11, 2010. It was an inside joke about an “ELAFF Local” (that’s the term we use for firefighters at ELAFF HQ). I began by posting funny videos about firefighters, but soon realized that my audience encompassed a large percentage of “Locals”. I started posting more meaningful articles and videos, sometimes adding a quick, 420 character or less piece of my mind. In August 2010, the Lt. Lemon picture showed up and Da’ Lemon Wedge was invented (all part of the original joke). Skip ahead to early 2011. Though ELAFF posts often spoke of “we”, the Facebook page had always been a solo effort by me…Lt. Lemon. I wanted to start a fully functioning, standalone blog. I thought that perhaps my thoughts and rants would be more widely accepted at ELAFF HQ (where everyone knows my true identity) if I wrote them online. Typically, only the favored few are chosen and allowed to let their voice be heard at ELAFF HQ…the rest are treated like rookies and children, regardless of knowledge, experience, seniority, or rank. Moving on. I knew that I would have trouble writing substantial posts between my inevitable rants, so I recruited help…and on May 5, 2011, I launched the blog.


Yes, has more than one author. There are currently three writers involved in the ELAFF project. They are not separate pseudonyms for one person, although that appears to be a common misconception. Each article on this site is written ENTIRELY by ONE author. The author is identified by the signature at the end of the post. I am working on a more clear way to display a post’s author. The current writing staff consists of:

Lt. Lemon – Your’s truly. I am the founder and administrator of all things ELAFF. I am responsible for everything posted on the Facebook page and the @ELAFFHQ Twitter account. My comments on most sites are accompanied by the infamous Lt. Lemon photo-avatar. Everyone at ELAFF HQ knows (or should know) my true identity. Many bloggers and readers also know who I am. I continue to post anonymously because:

  1. Lt. Lemon isn’t only an alias, but an alter-ego, occasionally exaggerating my opinions for the sake of shock, awe, and satire.
  2. Revealing my identity, and therefore my location, could jeopardize the identities of my contributing authors, who wish to retain their anonymity.
  3. People enjoy mystery.

Captain Chaos – The Captain is…a unique individual. He is an ELAFF Local, but does not serve at ELAFF HQ. He writes in his own style, not always using the grammar and prose which I prefer, but he shares the ELAFF mindset. He currently wants to keep his identity quiet

Lt. Nobody – Nobody is our newest contributor. His motto is, “When something needs to be said or done, who does it? Nobody.” Like Chaos, he is an ELAFF Local, but he does not serve at ELAFF HQ. He wishes to remain anonymous, as well.


ELAFF – (e-laugh) An acronym for Excessive Leather Accessories for Firefighters. It is easier to write and read. It is used to refer to the title of the Facebook page, the blog, or the writers as an organization. It is not the name of any of the individual writers.

ELAFF HQ – Refers to the department that inspired ELAFF. Also refers to the general area where I reside.

ELAFF Local – Someone who serves at, or near, ELAFF HQ and knows me personally.

Da’ Lemon Wedge – A yellow, wooden door chock with a specific design. Replicas can be made easily, but OFFICIAL Lemon Wedges are handmade at ELAFF HQ. So far, all Lemon Wedges have been made by me.

Future Improvements

My first planned improvement is to create a custom banner for each author, like those on, to be shown on each article. This would remove much of the confusion related to post authors. I also hope to drastically escalate the posting frequency, but things are busy at ELAFF HQ right now. We’ll have more on that, soon.

If you have any questions, suggestions, or complaints, email me at or use the “Contact ELAFF” page.

Thanks for reading,

Lt. Lemon

I’m Back!

This is Lt. Lemon; I’m back. After a short sabbatical to get away from the blogosphere, it is time to resume writing venting and feeding your intellect. Sure, I only wrote two real articles before taking a break, but it’s my blog and I’ll rest when I want to. It’s always nice to take a short leave from the firehouse when the idiocy becomes overwhelming; the blogosphere is no different. Now, I’m ready to get back to resisting the mainstream and raging against machines, laziness, and poorly executed authority.

So, what’s been happening since my last article? Well, premature promotions are still standing, and I’m still standing against them. The Anti-Morale Division continues to exercise favoritism and ignorance through their decisions and opinions and I continue to ignore them. You may ask, “Lemon, how can you simply ignore so many decisions and opinions?” The answer is simple. Here at ELAFF HQ, the viewpoints of many tend to lean towards stupidity, even borderline absurdity, and the easiest opinions to ignore are the stupid opinions. Feel free to post that quote on your Facebook, Twitter, Google+, or other social networking account. I think it’s intellectual gold on par with Steinbeck and Twain. As a matter of fact, I’m putting that in my book. Yes…I’m writing a book…more on that later.

For my next article, I’ll be turning away from my typically sensitive topics, which aim to stir up discussion and change.I’m working on a few articles which may be easier to handle. They will still be critical of certain actions and tendencies, but they will be more lighthearted and won’t leave the bitter taste of animosity like my first two articles. As always, this blog should be an open forum of discussion. If you’d like to argue, suggest a topic, voice a concern, or even submit a guest post, feel free to leave a comment here or email us at: Don’t forget to visit us on FB, that’s where this all began.
-Lt. Lemon


This marks the beginning of a new endeavor at ELAFF HQ. Lt. Lemon, along with a growing staff of contributors, plan on using this blog to spread the ELAFF mindset to a larger audience than Facebook will allow. If you are new to ELAFF, welcome. If you are a regular fan, thanks for sticking with us. Either way, buckle up because the road we travel is rough. (editor’s note: you should ALWAYS buckle up…rough road or not)t. Lemon...The Fire God. A Legend at ELAFF HQ. Double-fisting radio straps, a matching Garrity light, and a GIANT door chock. He handmade the wedge from an oak tree that he cut down with the saw-blade on his Leatherman.

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