A Trip to See the King
This weekend, Captain Chaos joined me on an expedition. We were invited down to Roanoke, Virginia to visit the King of Blogs himself, Captain Willie Wines Jr. We loaded up the ELAFF-mobile and hit the road to Roanoke. Captain Wines was kind enough to set us up with a place to stay at a local family’s home. I never met his parents, but the kid who lived there was a huge fan of Willie’s…I think his name was Rhett-something. Apparently, he likes to ride his bike down to Willie’s station to hang out with the firemen, plus he’s a follower of our blog, as well. When he heard that Lt. Lemon and Cpt. Chaos would be in town, he begged his folks to let us spend the night. Rhett tagged along with us as we stopped by the Fallen Firefighter’s Memorial and were given an exclusive tour of Roanoke’s Historic Firehouse #1.
As Chaos and I marveled at the rich history in that house, Rhett spent the time constantly following Willie around and talking about something called the “Fire Critic” and telling us about “deals”. Frankly, I had no idea what he was referring to.
Meanwhile, as the kid kept talking, I remained silent, soaking in the wealth of knowledge shared by Captain Wines about everything from Roanoke Fire history, to general firefighting, to blogging and web design. I may be anonymous, but I will say that Captain Wines has much more experience than me, and I was taught early on to stay quiet and listen when good advice is offered from the senior men. After supper, we returned to Rhett’s house, where Rhett rambled on about “Va Fire News” and how much he loves Dave Statter. I think the only person Rhett admires more than Captain Wines is Statter. He could name every recent post on Statter911.com and he had an enormous Statter911 logo on his bedroom wall. It was sort of strange…
The following day, Chaos and I headed to Station 13 for a ride-along with Captain Wines and his crew. They greeted us with a feast of a breakfast, followed by a tour of the beautiful scenery in the surrounding area. We brought the ride-along curse with us, only catching one run…a medical. Still, we enjoyed the day, as the firefighters of Roanoke are extremely friendly and hospitable. Even as Chaos and I barged in on a Sunday, we never felt un-welcome. Rhett rode his bike down to the firehouse, bringing some BBQ for supper. I’m not sure where his Mom bought it, but it wasn’t too bad. After supper, Chaos and I decided to finally get out of their hair and head back to HQ. We handed off a couple of Lemon Wedges, snapped some photos, and rode off…better for making the trip.
Thanks again to Willie and Rhett.
Next time I’ll bring my voice with me…and maybe my face, too.
-Lt. Lemon
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ELAFF Organization, or How It All Works
Over the past few months at ELAFF HQ, we’ve grown incredibly. Our number of readers and fans has increased rapidly, and apparently some of the newcomers are not clear on the way things work here. This is understandable, as we operate a bit differently than other fire service blogs. This post is my attempt to clear things up and make the ELAFF experience less confusing.
The ELAFF Story (abridged version)
The first thing every ELAFF reader should do is check out the “About ELAFF” page. That should go without saying, but I said it anyway…just to be sure. That page gives the VERY basic version of the ELAFF story. Simply put, I started a Facebook page named “Excessive Leather Accessories for Firefighters” on February 11, 2010. It was an inside joke about an “ELAFF Local” (that’s the term we use for firefighters at ELAFF HQ). I began by posting funny videos about firefighters, but soon realized that my audience encompassed a large percentage of “Locals”. I started posting more meaningful articles and videos, sometimes adding a quick, 420 character or less piece of my mind. In August 2010, the Lt. Lemon picture showed up and Da’ Lemon Wedge was invented (all part of the original joke). Skip ahead to early 2011. Though ELAFF posts often spoke of “we”, the Facebook page had always been a solo effort by me…Lt. Lemon. I wanted to start a fully functioning, standalone blog. I thought that perhaps my thoughts and rants would be more widely accepted at ELAFF HQ (where everyone knows my true identity) if I wrote them online. Typically, only the favored few are chosen and allowed to let their voice be heard at ELAFF HQ…the rest are treated like rookies and children, regardless of knowledge, experience, seniority, or rank. Moving on. I knew that I would have trouble writing substantial posts between my inevitable rants, so I recruited help…and on May 5, 2011, I launched the blog.
Authors
Yes, ELAFFHQ.com has more than one author. There are currently three writers involved in the ELAFF project. They are not separate pseudonyms for one person, although that appears to be a common misconception. Each article on this site is written ENTIRELY by ONE author. The author is identified by the signature at the end of the post. I am working on a more clear way to display a post’s author. The current writing staff consists of:
Lt. Lemon – Your’s truly. I am the founder and administrator of all things ELAFF. I am responsible for everything posted on the Facebook page and the @ELAFFHQ Twitter account. My comments on most sites are accompanied by the infamous Lt. Lemon photo-avatar. Everyone at ELAFF HQ knows (or should know) my true identity. Many bloggers and readers also know who I am. I continue to post anonymously because:
- Lt. Lemon isn’t only an alias, but an alter-ego, occasionally exaggerating my opinions for the sake of shock, awe, and satire.
- Revealing my identity, and therefore my location, could jeopardize the identities of my contributing authors, who wish to retain their anonymity.
- People enjoy mystery.
Captain Chaos – The Captain is…a unique individual. He is an ELAFF Local, but does not serve at ELAFF HQ. He writes in his own style, not always using the grammar and prose which I prefer, but he shares the ELAFF mindset. He currently wants to keep his identity quiet
Lt. Nobody – Nobody is our newest contributor. His motto is, “When something needs to be said or done, who does it? Nobody.” Like Chaos, he is an ELAFF Local, but he does not serve at ELAFF HQ. He wishes to remain anonymous, as well.
Lingo
ELAFF – (e-laugh) An acronym for Excessive Leather Accessories for Firefighters. It is easier to write and read. It is used to refer to the title of the Facebook page, the blog, or the writers as an organization. It is not the name of any of the individual writers.
ELAFF HQ – Refers to the department that inspired ELAFF. Also refers to the general area where I reside.
ELAFF Local – Someone who serves at, or near, ELAFF HQ and knows me personally.
Da’ Lemon Wedge – A yellow, wooden door chock with a specific design. Replicas can be made easily, but OFFICIAL Lemon Wedges are handmade at ELAFF HQ. So far, all Lemon Wedges have been made by me.
Future Improvements
My first planned improvement is to create a custom banner for each author, like those on Firegeezer.com, to be shown on each article. This would remove much of the confusion related to post authors. I also hope to drastically escalate the posting frequency, but things are busy at ELAFF HQ right now. We’ll have more on that, soon.
If you have any questions, suggestions, or complaints, email me at ELAFFHQ@gmail.com or use the “Contact ELAFF” page.
Thanks for reading,
Lt. Lemon
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The Brotherhood is a Lie
That’s right. The title is referring to the Fire Service Brotherhood. Before you amass a posse and begin an assault on ELAFF HQ, I ask that you read this post to the last word. After that, please share your opinions…positive or negative.
I’ve been working on this post for a few months now. Until recently, it was merely a set of scattered ideas, floating around in my mind without a central focus to tether them all together. This week, I found my focus. A group of firefighters in Georgia uploaded a video to Youtube, showing an outrageous “rookie prank” which they carried out.
Here is the video:
My immediate thought after viewing this video was,”Wow…these guys are crazy!”
I planned on leaving it at that, with no further comment. As usual, I continued to follow the chatter on Statter911. I enjoy observing the varying opinions of Statter’s readers, and their reactions towards one another. The comments began to follow two, distinct paths.
The overwhelming majority of comments voiced disgust and disapproval. Those are the comments I agree with. The small number of opposing comments accosted the dissenters with accusations of overreaction and over-sensitivity.
I fail to see the supposed “innocence” of this “prank”. Ask any ELAFF Local and they will tell you that I am a supporter of firehouse fun and harmless tom-foolery. This prank, however, crossed the line. It may have caused mental trauma to the recipient, and even more likely, it could have resulted in serious injury or death. Don’t believe it? I’ll explain…
What if an off-duty member, carrying a legal and permitted concealed weapon, stopped by the station for a visit? How about a local law enforcement officer seeking a cup of coffee and some small talk. The city that this department protects has seen an increase in violent crime in recent years. If an armed firefighter or law officer entered the station to find his comrades being forced to the floor by a masked gunman, they would most likely react quickly. If they had entered the room as the firecrackers exploded, sounding like gunfire and adding to the realism of the mock execution, I’m sure they would have reacted aggressively. The ironic tragedy of a mock gunman being shot by an uninformed hero would have changed the tone of those supportive comments, and silenced any laughter.
Now, back to the Brotherhood and the focus of this post. There was one comment that veered to the extreme end of the supportive spectrum. It immediately struck a nerve and spurred me to tie those scattered ideas into a solid post. Here it is verbatim:
“You guys are such negative nancy’s. What happened to the brotherhood in the fire department? You are all too busy trying to throw them under the bus. What happened to innocent until proven guilty? As far as the prank being dangerous? I hate to tell you but F.D. Doesn’t mean fire department, but rather freaking dangerous.”
What happened to brotherhood? It doesn’t exist…it is a lie. At least, the “brotherhood” of which this comment speaks is a lie. It seems to be increasingly common for newer members of the fire service to EXPECT the brotherhood. They believe that as soon as they get some bunker gear, they are a solid link in the chain of fire service brethren…and that this link can never be severed. Nope. Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. The TRUE brotherhood between firefighters must be earned, and to keep it, you must stay true to the profession. You can get your issued t-shirt, or pager, or union decal for your truck…but that doesn’t make you a Brother. Don’t get me wrong. Senior firefighters should be there for the rookies. They should answer their questions, mentor them, even give them a little razzing when they get too cocky. Don’t shun the new guys, but make sure they know that they still have something to prove before they fully become a Brother.
Earning a place in the Brotherhood doesn’t require a working fire and an act of heroism, either. I recall a firehouse visit by a German fireman(feuerwehrmann). He spoke little English and had never stepped foot in our house before. We began to tour the station and apparatus; through broken English, hand signals, and my very basic understanding of German (thanks to my German roots) we began to communicate. His “detailed” questions about hose lays, pump rate, equipment, and tactics shone brightly through the language barrier. This was a Brother. He knew firefighting. He lived it. He didn’t leave it behind like a businessman on vacation. He didn’t ask lame questions about flashing lights and sirens. With less than 50 actual, spoken words…he EARNED my trust…and proved his status as a Brother. I assume that by gladly sharing our house and rigs, and by answering his questions with enthusiasm, pride, and knowledge…we earned HIS trust, as well.
Being a member of the Brotherhood goes beyond joining the department and wearing a t-shirt. It is more complex than simply wearing a pager and has no correlation to the amount of lights on your P.O.V. Being a member of the Brotherhood is about looking out for your Brothers. Putting them, and the civilians you protect, before yourself…and not just on the fireground. Being a Brother requires constant training. Brothers drop the remote and pick up the weights, so that they’ll be prepared for the next call. They take a break from talking about football at the kitchen table, so that they can run through a scenario or critique a previous call. Brothers take part in as much training as possible, even the courses that AREN’T required by the department. They spend spare time going over the rigs, looking for subtle changes which could make the next run flow a bit smoother. To Brothers, the fire service is more than a way to earn a paycheck, or a way to pick up chicks. It takes dedication and commitment to be a Brother. For that reason, not EVERY fire department member is a TRUE Brother Firefighter.
Too often these days, when news of a misbehaving firefighter hits the internet, some whacker-troll jumps out of the shadows screaming about the “brotherhood”. The idiots in Georgia may have been Brothers last week. Then, they pulled this “prank” and posted it on Youtube. They endangered themselves and made their department (and therefore the ENTIRE American fire service) a joke. They disgraced the Brotherhood, and thereby forfeited their privilege as a member. Yes, “privilege”. Not “right”. IF they are allowed to remain in this profession, they will have to EARN that privilege again.
To simply defend their actions because of the “brotherhood” is ridiculous. If a rogue firefighter decides to light a random house on fire for kicks, would you stand behind his actions because he’s a “brother”? What if he inadvertently killed somebody; would you support his act of arson under the veil of “brotherhood”? What if the victim was ALSO a “brother” firefighter?
I’ll stand by my Brothers through a lot, but when they start breaking laws and endangering lives, they go against the very morals that hold the Brotherhood together. I can’t consider someone like that a Brother, and I doubt they were ever one to begin with. If they had time to plan an elaborate stunt like the one above, then they also had time to train or hit the gym. They chose not to, and therefore chose to avoid the Brotherhood.
I have no problem with somebody supporting the “gunman pranksters” above. If you think it was a harmless prank, fair enough. If you think that no harm was done, fine.
Just don’t use the Brotherhood as your default defense. To some of us, it has a meaning which runs deeper than your superficial understanding.
-Lt. Lemon
(Credit to the following blogs for extra motivation and inspiration on this post: Jason Jefferies’ Working the Job, Chris Brennan’s Fire Service Warrior, and Taj Meyers’ QueenCityBurns. Read those posts.)
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Red Light district
Ah yes, we’ve all seen them…. Perky young volunteer firefighters whizzing down the road at incredible speed. Trying their absolute best to shave off as many seconds as possible to get to that .0025 acre spot fire, a.k.a. Natural Catastrophe!!!! We’ve seen old women yank that Lincoln Continental off the road. Old men in their 1892 model Ford Pickup truck shake their fists at that young whipper snapper barely an ass hair’s width off their bumper. Frightened citizens all, coming to a screeching dead stop, right in front of that 27 and a half foot set of Goodyear All Terrain Eagle Pro Grip come Hell or High Water rubber streaks in the middle of a four lane highway (that will stay there as a reminder for three months). You know exactly what im talkin’ bout’ Willis! I’m talking about those wonderful Vollies and their awe-inspiring $2,100.95 set of pretty red twinklies!
One follower of ELAFF has brought up the subject, and I whole heartedly approved of throwing my hat into the ring, and giving my own personal ideas and thoughts behind the issue! Now, Be advised, this is not gonna be a bash on the little volunteers and get on my little high horse and wag my finger session. Quite the contrary, I intend to look at this from a neutral perspective. Are they, or are they not a useful presence in the fire service? If you ask a volunteer, of course they are! You aint no real fire man without em! If you ask a professional, its absolutely re-dunkulous and a totally silly excuse to drive like a demon off its ridilin. Without trying to make a 12 page essay on the topic, I’ll shorten it down to a few points.
One question you must ask yourself before you invest yourself into the red light stereotype, is about its practicality. What is the intended use? Well it has from what I can see, two useful purposes. 1: To attempt to save some time by letting people know in front of you to make an attempt to move safely over and allow the first responder the right of way. Anyone who has ever driven emergency traffic knows this is N E V E R the case. See the light, pull to the right is, at least right now, a fantasy. A wishful dream of emergency responders and police. Reality is more along the lines of: See the light, panic, jerk the wheel in both directions at once while simultaneously slamming on the break and let “Jesus take the wheel”. Not very practical, being as were here to HELP people, not cause them to take their own lives by way of accidental vehicular manslaughter. Yeah, live with that on your conscience. Useful purpose #2: Arriving first on scene, the lights allow passing motorists a chance to slow down, and see whats going on ahead of them so they may make a better decision on whether or not to continue going 55 mph in a 45 zone. Now this seems to be a little more practical. However, real life experience suggests that while some may do this, others will see it as a chance to see something awesome, speed up, and even be so mesmerized by the beautiful lights they actually veer toward them like a moth to a flame. So, here we have our practical uses for having red lights. There are some more variables though, you must consider.
One such variable is your ability to use something that unfortunately ALOT of people lack when it comes to red light usage: Commonsense. It’s a dying thing these days, commonsense. Some people have it, some don’t. Some people get it over time, some…. will never, ever possess it….. ever. One example is to go balls to the wall, red lights a shinin’ to, oh lets say a breathing difficulty. Your 3 miles out, but luckily the call is about 2 blocks from the station…. the currently staffed with some paid guys station. Time to let your engine loose and let the lights pave the way? Commonsense says: “no”. Dumbass firefighter behind the wheel says: “Well hell yeah!” I’ll give you yet another subtle example, this one from real life, personal experience. I hear my station get a stand-by 10-70 while I was monitoring one day at home. Of course this is go time, im in my truck and headed to the station before the actual tones go out. Were the red lights on? Yes. Page came out, 10-70 ( fire, to those who are fortunate enough not to be forced to listen to silly codes) and communications advised that this will be behind the residence, neighbors see someone behind their house through the woods, burning something and was worried their house might catch on fire due to embers floating in the air. (click) Red light off. What do I see when I get to the station? There goes the truck, balls to the wall, down the road and incoming firefighters with their lights a flashin’ as hard as they can go! This is what im talking about… commonsense. The neighbors were worried that embers from burning trash/rubbish were going to all band into a fiery flotilla of screaming death and march straight through the pine thicket to raze their home to the ground like a Roman army? Emergency traffic worthy? I think not. Yes, I have mentioned this through the Chain, and yes it still happens because nothing is said or done about it. Not my call.
All this boils down to, to me, is pretty simple. Should vols have the ability to have the red light in their car? That depends on the department. Do you have a crew and several trucks out the door within a min. and a half or so after the page? If so, then running lights in POV’s probably isnt necessary. Do POV’s often arrive on scene first, before the trucks? Lights, maybe useful. Do you have roads in your district that offer motorists the ability to get out-of-the-way safely?It all boils down to your ability to listen to a situation, and correctly assess whether or not driving a POV emergency traffic is WORTH the risk of plowing gammy and peepop off the road in order to get on scene. I know you love it, because I love it. Its awesome. We have the best job in the world! But my goodness, please be careful! You don’t want to live with the guilt of harming someone so you can be the one to put out that spot fire! Commonsense… the ELAFF word of the day!
Stay safe out there Brothers and Sisters!
-Captain Chaos
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Weekend Update 8/28/11
Hey, Leather-freaks!
Hopefully all of you East Coasters survived the earthquake/hurricane combo. Here is a quick update on what’s new at ELAFF HQ.
-Lt. Lemon posted an article regarding Radio Traffic Redundancy. It is a fun read, and if you haven’t checked it out…a Sunday afternoon would be a great time to do so. In other words, go read it.
-Lt.Lemon ALSO joined the world of Twitter with the official ELAFF Twitter account, @ELAFFHQ. Captain Chaos is also on “the Twitter”; find him as @CaptainChaos001. Follow both accounts for exclusive ELAFF content and discussions. You can now read the five most recent tweets, right here on the blog. Look in the right sidebar, just under the “Links” section.
-The dynamic duo at Daily 911 Deals introduced their first “deal”, and have since announced their second one. So far they have had some great deals. I suggest you check out the site and subscribe. They recently secured some more deals at FRI, and many will be limited in quantity, so you’ll want to know as soon as they go live.
-Twitter led Lt. Lemon to stumble across a great public education venture in the making. The Firefighter Dan Show, or Dan’s Firehouse, is a kid-oriented animated series that will offer educational safety tips in a fun format. They are still seeking funding, so check out their site and give if you can. Donations start at $1.
-Finally, we are in the preliminary stage of designing a line of ELAFF Gear. We want to develop our product line beyond the ever-successful “Lemon Wedge”. We have created a poll on Facebook to find out what gear you’d like to see. There is also a poll below. You can answer either poll, or both if you wish.
That’s all for today. Lt. Lemon’s working on a series of articles explaining the origins of ELAFF, and his own story of struggles and perseverance. Look for that soon!
Stay safe, and keep spreading the word about ELAFF!
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Weekly Re-cap 5/14/11
If you aren’t a fan of ELAFF over on Facebook, here are a few posted items you missed this week:
1. Cee Lo Green sang “Thank You” to firefighters(including his mom)
2. Our new contributor, Captain Chaos, has a Facebook page.
3. Brian Brush gave a moving speech to a group of new fire recruits.
(Hat Tip to the Fire Critic)
4. There was a fantastic post on The Tailboard discussing the need for officers to have knowledge AND experience before being promoted. Click the link to check it out! (I will have a post on this topic up soon.)
5. Finally, the folks making the Burn documentary of Detroit firefighters posted newly captured footage from this past winter.
Myself and Captain Chaos will have some new posts up this week. Until then, spread the word and stay safe! (If you haven’t read our previous posts, you should do that now…thanks!)
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Inception
This marks the beginning of a new endeavor at ELAFF HQ. Lt. Lemon, along with a growing staff of contributors, plan on using this blog to spread the ELAFF mindset to a larger audience than Facebook will allow. If you are new to ELAFF, welcome. If you are a regular fan, thanks for sticking with us. Either way, buckle up because the road we travel is rough. (editor’s note: you should ALWAYS buckle up…rough road or not)
Excessive Leather Accessories For Firefighters 